Two weeks from now, during the Octave of Easter, I will be back in Albuquerque for the second Emerging Christianity conference hosted by the Center for Action and Contemplation. Though I really enjoyed last years conference, I was not sure that I would return. However as soon as I saw the line up of speakers, I knew that I was called back. And really just as of the last day or so has it felt close enough to picture. Part of that may be due to news I've gathered through Facebook concerning the presentation of concepts and stories from the emerging front to the House of Bishop of the Episcopal Church at their annual retreat. There were a number of speakers brought in for that occasion including three with whom I am particularly familiar: Karen Ward (Church of the Apostles in Seattle), Diana Butler Bass and Phyllis Tickle. Karen is heading up things emerging for her diocese (our neighbors to the north) and seems to be spearheading the Episcopal Village initiative. I was lucky enough to visit her community back in December for a conversation concerning new and traditional monasticism for the 21st century. Truly an amazing ministry and witness. Diana will be speaking at this year's conference in Albuquerque, while Phyllis was a speaker last year. Brian McLaren and Phyllis are advising Episcopal Village as well. All of this truly seems to be combining to make this the "Episcopal Moment" that Brian, Karen, and others are calling it. In Brian's foreword to a document behind (or at least running parallel) to Episcopal Village (www.episcopalvillage.org BTW), he mentions that in this instance, rather than hindering us, our hierarchical structure could help us to become responsive change agents within the wider church. We have recently seen just that sort of possibility take hold within the Rosicrucian Order. I know that it could work here as well. The presentations to the House of Bishops this week will go far towards making that possible. I'm so excited for our new bishop to be on the scene. He is actually going to be consecrated the same weekend I am away and seated at the cathedral (my parish church) on the Octave itself. So many new possibilities are afoot. I entered Lent as a period of discernment with a priest and my abbot to consider next steps for formation and ministry and have been caught up in a wonderful rising tide of possibility.
Onward to Jerusalem! Palm Sunday approaches with its double edged sword of joy and challenge. May we all rise to the kingdom possibilities it raises.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Monday, March 22, 2010
A shout out to the Rosicrucians
These past nine days have really made a huge difference in where I am at and the perspective that I have on my life at the moment. Though there were events and discussions out in the real world that were part of it, a lot of it has to do with being able to use this blog as a workspace to explore long standing issues and confusions.
Over the weekend a shift occurred that I did not expect to see for five to ten years. It started by following up on an email from my best friend in the Order and one from headquarters giving the figures regarding a revitalization among the membership and new applications [47% increase in number of active members during 2009]. My friend confirmed those numbers on the ground. Our local group that has been just holding on for years has doubled in size in the past two months.
This is really the fruit of a long process. We have held jurisdiction wide visioning sessions for about a decade. That culminated in a Vision Plan released by the leadership team about a year ago. When I saw it I could hardly believe the proposed changes. It was the Rosicrucian equivalent of the Mission Shaped Church report (from the CofE). Emerging Rosicrucianism has apparently hit the scene along with other cultural changes that are part of Phyllis Tickle’s “Great Emergence” as the wider phenomenon of which Emerging Christianity is a part.
When I saw the Vision Plan last year, I noted the potential but knew that I couldn't just run right back. I did however mention it to a priest with whom I attended the Emerging Church conference last year in Albuquerque (only a few weeks away from the second one, yeah!). We noted the large scale qualities of this shift.
With confirmation that things actually have made a difference, I was immediately drawn to reconnect. Though I have been away from my local Rosicrucian group for about two years, my dues actually only lapsed nine months ago. My lessons, notes, etc. have only been boxed up for about six months. Perhaps that was just enough time to have successfully let go so that I could return freely later. I read something the other day that said “There is a big difference between still believing in something and believing in something again.” I think I needed to be able to switch from one mode to the other.
So the end result is that I have reconnected with my friend, reactivated my membership, and even exchanged short but joyful emails with the Grand Master. Hearing from her was like reconciling with an old friend. She and I never had any personal trouble (in fact in years past she was very kind to my father), but she represented a whole structure that I had thought I needed to leave behind. I truly did not realize how much quiet pain remained by being estranged from the Order which since high school has trained, encouraged, and supported me.
If I can move forward toward reintegrating both my Christian and Hermetic sides that would be truly amazing.
Funny story about the Corpus Hermeticum to wrap this up: When the early Muslims were coming through what is now Turkey, they encountered the Sabeans. Looking for the third option beyond convert or die, they said that they too were a people of the book. When challenged, they ran and got a copy of the Corpus Hermeticum and said, “This, this is our book”. So for somewhere on the order of 1200 years, Hermeticists have been the “fourth people of the book”. Funny how things work out sometimes.
Over the weekend a shift occurred that I did not expect to see for five to ten years. It started by following up on an email from my best friend in the Order and one from headquarters giving the figures regarding a revitalization among the membership and new applications [47% increase in number of active members during 2009]. My friend confirmed those numbers on the ground. Our local group that has been just holding on for years has doubled in size in the past two months.
This is really the fruit of a long process. We have held jurisdiction wide visioning sessions for about a decade. That culminated in a Vision Plan released by the leadership team about a year ago. When I saw it I could hardly believe the proposed changes. It was the Rosicrucian equivalent of the Mission Shaped Church report (from the CofE). Emerging Rosicrucianism has apparently hit the scene along with other cultural changes that are part of Phyllis Tickle’s “Great Emergence” as the wider phenomenon of which Emerging Christianity is a part.
When I saw the Vision Plan last year, I noted the potential but knew that I couldn't just run right back. I did however mention it to a priest with whom I attended the Emerging Church conference last year in Albuquerque (only a few weeks away from the second one, yeah!). We noted the large scale qualities of this shift.
With confirmation that things actually have made a difference, I was immediately drawn to reconnect. Though I have been away from my local Rosicrucian group for about two years, my dues actually only lapsed nine months ago. My lessons, notes, etc. have only been boxed up for about six months. Perhaps that was just enough time to have successfully let go so that I could return freely later. I read something the other day that said “There is a big difference between still believing in something and believing in something again.” I think I needed to be able to switch from one mode to the other.
So the end result is that I have reconnected with my friend, reactivated my membership, and even exchanged short but joyful emails with the Grand Master. Hearing from her was like reconciling with an old friend. She and I never had any personal trouble (in fact in years past she was very kind to my father), but she represented a whole structure that I had thought I needed to leave behind. I truly did not realize how much quiet pain remained by being estranged from the Order which since high school has trained, encouraged, and supported me.
If I can move forward toward reintegrating both my Christian and Hermetic sides that would be truly amazing.
Funny story about the Corpus Hermeticum to wrap this up: When the early Muslims were coming through what is now Turkey, they encountered the Sabeans. Looking for the third option beyond convert or die, they said that they too were a people of the book. When challenged, they ran and got a copy of the Corpus Hermeticum and said, “This, this is our book”. So for somewhere on the order of 1200 years, Hermeticists have been the “fourth people of the book”. Funny how things work out sometimes.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Fourth time's the charm?
This moment represents the fourth time I've tried to gain traction with the whole "change the world" business. However, it may also represent a fundamentally different approach that arose naturally out of community. The unsuccessful pattern that I have exhibited three times, runs like this: I write a book; within a year by seeking to apply my new principles, I push myself way too far and have a manic episode, my plans fail, I crash (but usually not too hard), then I spend years building up steam to do it again. I've written these books of various types at ages 16, 20, and 28. Said manic episodes occurred at 17, 21, and 29. The only time I fully left consensual reality behind me was that middle one which is likely why it took eight years instead of four for the cycle to kick back on. This past December I felt just the slightest twinge of mania. Too put it bluntly, it freaked me the hell out. The primary difference between those with bipolar disorder and those without it are that our brains lack some of the safety features usually installed as standard issue. We can push ourselves down a path vastly farther than is safe long after healthy people's system would simply have pulled the plug. A simple example is sleep. When I took my leap off the deep end and was hospitalized during that middle episode, I had been awake for almost a week (ironically except the night before I was brought to triage by my friends). Once hospitalized and even with all the drugs, I was awake two more nights. I only found peace and slept once they locked me in isolation (and FYI when they do that they try and be nice and leave the door open etc. which completely defeats the purpose of being there). My brain was on sensory overload until they simply sealed my whole body in a contained space. Then I could heal.
So now that you know way more about my mental health history than you bargained for, how is this time different? The key features of my failed attempts are: inspiration in isolation, seeking personal power, codifying a personal system of beliefs or insights, being willing to risk daily life for the possibilities I perceived. My reaction to that twinge in December was to do the mental equivalent of driving my mind into a snow bank. Too prevent losing control on the ice, I took a lower level disaster. As such I experienced a depression unlike any that I've experienced since I've been successfully medicated (keep in mind that covers 15 years so I was a bit surprised at its depth). However unpleasant that might have been, it was far less dangerous than the alternative. Granted, the goal is to keep from hitting either of those pylons, but we do the best we can. In case numbers matter to any of you as they sometimes do to me, I just turned 35 before said twinge. The distance between now and the third episode is an average of the other two intervals.
The features of this new attempt, which may make all the difference are: inspiration in community, seeking to serve, reading rather than writing, and understanding that the only way to get where I'd like to go is in balance with mundane requirements. There is an African aphorism that has shown up in at least three places in my reading during the past two weeks. It goes:
If you want to travel quickly, go alone;
If you want to travel far, go together.
I'm done traveling quickly. I'm ready to travel together.
May this day bring you many blessings.
So now that you know way more about my mental health history than you bargained for, how is this time different? The key features of my failed attempts are: inspiration in isolation, seeking personal power, codifying a personal system of beliefs or insights, being willing to risk daily life for the possibilities I perceived. My reaction to that twinge in December was to do the mental equivalent of driving my mind into a snow bank. Too prevent losing control on the ice, I took a lower level disaster. As such I experienced a depression unlike any that I've experienced since I've been successfully medicated (keep in mind that covers 15 years so I was a bit surprised at its depth). However unpleasant that might have been, it was far less dangerous than the alternative. Granted, the goal is to keep from hitting either of those pylons, but we do the best we can. In case numbers matter to any of you as they sometimes do to me, I just turned 35 before said twinge. The distance between now and the third episode is an average of the other two intervals.
The features of this new attempt, which may make all the difference are: inspiration in community, seeking to serve, reading rather than writing, and understanding that the only way to get where I'd like to go is in balance with mundane requirements. There is an African aphorism that has shown up in at least three places in my reading during the past two weeks. It goes:
If you want to travel quickly, go alone;
If you want to travel far, go together.
I'm done traveling quickly. I'm ready to travel together.
May this day bring you many blessings.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
The metanoia of a loyal heretic
Keeping in mind that a heretic is not just someone who believes in something false, but rather someone who places more importance on a possible slice of the truth over truth as a whole, their community, and God. All three of these point to something whole, something healed, something saved (each of those words have linguistic ties to each other among various languages).
I've been thinking a lot of my turning back from a gnostic error three years ago. This is not to say that gnosis is not both good and important; however, as I wrote on the title page of a journal a couple years ago, "it is not the secrets which save us." I'm currently reading Tom Wright's commentary on Paul's First Letter to Timothy (which I didn't even connect to the name under which I'm writing this blog until this very second oddly enough). Part of Tom's response to the last chapter yield this paragraph:
Three summers ago I lost my life in this way. Over the course of two weeks in August 2007 I did the following things:
Resigned a post as master of a lodge (in a christian kabalistic tradition) in Seattle.
Experienced the onset of an appendicitis, only to have it seem to go away and thus not actually be said appendicitis. This was the very weekend that I stopped taking the calls of my provincial master who I felt had painted me into an administrative corner as we were trying to save our lodge from dwindling numbers and facilities problems (if you happen to be consulted do _not_ build a flat roof in Seattle).
Got on a plane to Berlin in order to go to an international conference that I now knew I wouldn't be attending (those who were convening are wonderful people who benefit the world in countless unknown ways; the sin of my error was mine and not theirs).
Enjoyed an eye opening pilgrimage in an amazing city, noticing the presence of my brothers and sisters of the order, silently blessing them and keeping to myself.
Wrote for three hours at Cafe Roxy in Sudstern to the Grand Master to take care of said resignation and the loose ends involved. Ironically enough this cafe is two blocks from the Papal Nuncio's residence.
Followed my attraction to churches, particularly the Marienkirk in the north eastern part of the city, where I purchased a little icon and lit a candle to support the work of my brethren.
Got back on a plane to Oregon only to have the pain return on the last leg of my journey.
Within a couple days of landing I was in an ambulance to the hospital for an emergency appendectomy as it turns out I carried an encysted ruptured appendix half way around the world and back and was still in good enough shape to get myself onto the operating table. I kept hearing nurses whisper things like, "He's just walking around!"
The morning after my surgery, my entire family (who are usually one state away) got on a plane bound for Rome. That just happened to be the summer of European vacations.
Lying in the hospital bed I was visited by my boss and a colleague from work but more importantly two others who are the only two friends I really felt I had left at that point. It was then that I realized how much my world had shrunk (for reasons other that this current chain of events). One of those two friends is, well there's really no other way to say this properly, a brilliant and talented sorcerer. However, he was raised as a Mormon, and as anyone can tell you, when the shit really hits the fan we will always go running back to the religious understandings of our childhood. With those two friends and me as the third, there was an honest to goodness laying on of hands and prayers for healing in the name of Jesus, which though a scandal to none of us was remarkable none the less just for the fact that it occurred.
I got better. I slowly and respectfully divested myself of responsibilities within the order while at the same time slowly and respectfully reinvesting myself in the church. Somehow from the moment of my return I knew my priorities had changed because that same month I began setting aside money from every paycheck specifically for divinity school.
That was most certainly a dying to my prior self understanding, and but for the grace of God, would have been my actual physical death as well.
Someone else who made a very similar error and someone who I've felt a kinship towards for most of my life is Judas. He made a mistake. He thought he was doing what was necessary. He was wrong and because of it he watched the person he loved most in the world be brutally killed. More than that, because of his error he lost the only people who could have sustained him in a crisis like that. However, Jesus forgave him before it even happened. Back in 2006 I followed the Gospel of Judas story very closely. I even gave a presentation on the topic. More bizarre is the fact that the symbol from the codex (a hybrid of a Maltese cross and an ankh) which is embossed on the covers of the first two official National Geographic books was a symbol that I had been using as a personal talisman for two years before those books were published. No idea what that means, but it is indeed the case. That gospel follows the trajectory as if Judas had been right. Personally I think he understood what he had done just when it was too late.
Last year on Good Friday our bishop preached an amazing sermon on related lines of thinking. It was during that service where the loud thought ringing in my head was, "Judas was wrong and Judas was sorry". The bishop had a cute story about Judas approaching Jesus while he was hanging on the cross to ask for forgiveness. Jesus, ever compassionate, looks down at his friend and says, "Judas, Judas, you don't look so good. Tell me what's wrong." He's always calling us home. We've never gotten too far to reach.
Amen.
I've been thinking a lot of my turning back from a gnostic error three years ago. This is not to say that gnosis is not both good and important; however, as I wrote on the title page of a journal a couple years ago, "it is not the secrets which save us." I'm currently reading Tom Wright's commentary on Paul's First Letter to Timothy (which I didn't even connect to the name under which I'm writing this blog until this very second oddly enough). Part of Tom's response to the last chapter yield this paragraph:
The contemporary Western world has seen the rise of new forms of 'gnosticism'. Many people today long to believe that they possess a hidden identity, long covered up by their outward body and circumstances. Many then believe that true life consists in being true to this hidden identity at all costs. Some even try to make out that this is Christian teaching. It wasn't, and it isn't. Jesus calls us now, as he called his first followers, to accept his offer of new life, not to discover a secret one we already have. To put it another way, he calls us to 'find our lives by losing them'. And the life that we find will be the resurrection life in God's newly recreated world.
Three summers ago I lost my life in this way. Over the course of two weeks in August 2007 I did the following things:
Resigned a post as master of a lodge (in a christian kabalistic tradition) in Seattle.
Experienced the onset of an appendicitis, only to have it seem to go away and thus not actually be said appendicitis. This was the very weekend that I stopped taking the calls of my provincial master who I felt had painted me into an administrative corner as we were trying to save our lodge from dwindling numbers and facilities problems (if you happen to be consulted do _not_ build a flat roof in Seattle).
Got on a plane to Berlin in order to go to an international conference that I now knew I wouldn't be attending (those who were convening are wonderful people who benefit the world in countless unknown ways; the sin of my error was mine and not theirs).
Enjoyed an eye opening pilgrimage in an amazing city, noticing the presence of my brothers and sisters of the order, silently blessing them and keeping to myself.
Wrote for three hours at Cafe Roxy in Sudstern to the Grand Master to take care of said resignation and the loose ends involved. Ironically enough this cafe is two blocks from the Papal Nuncio's residence.
Followed my attraction to churches, particularly the Marienkirk in the north eastern part of the city, where I purchased a little icon and lit a candle to support the work of my brethren.
Got back on a plane to Oregon only to have the pain return on the last leg of my journey.
Within a couple days of landing I was in an ambulance to the hospital for an emergency appendectomy as it turns out I carried an encysted ruptured appendix half way around the world and back and was still in good enough shape to get myself onto the operating table. I kept hearing nurses whisper things like, "He's just walking around!"
The morning after my surgery, my entire family (who are usually one state away) got on a plane bound for Rome. That just happened to be the summer of European vacations.
Lying in the hospital bed I was visited by my boss and a colleague from work but more importantly two others who are the only two friends I really felt I had left at that point. It was then that I realized how much my world had shrunk (for reasons other that this current chain of events). One of those two friends is, well there's really no other way to say this properly, a brilliant and talented sorcerer. However, he was raised as a Mormon, and as anyone can tell you, when the shit really hits the fan we will always go running back to the religious understandings of our childhood. With those two friends and me as the third, there was an honest to goodness laying on of hands and prayers for healing in the name of Jesus, which though a scandal to none of us was remarkable none the less just for the fact that it occurred.
I got better. I slowly and respectfully divested myself of responsibilities within the order while at the same time slowly and respectfully reinvesting myself in the church. Somehow from the moment of my return I knew my priorities had changed because that same month I began setting aside money from every paycheck specifically for divinity school.
That was most certainly a dying to my prior self understanding, and but for the grace of God, would have been my actual physical death as well.
Someone else who made a very similar error and someone who I've felt a kinship towards for most of my life is Judas. He made a mistake. He thought he was doing what was necessary. He was wrong and because of it he watched the person he loved most in the world be brutally killed. More than that, because of his error he lost the only people who could have sustained him in a crisis like that. However, Jesus forgave him before it even happened. Back in 2006 I followed the Gospel of Judas story very closely. I even gave a presentation on the topic. More bizarre is the fact that the symbol from the codex (a hybrid of a Maltese cross and an ankh) which is embossed on the covers of the first two official National Geographic books was a symbol that I had been using as a personal talisman for two years before those books were published. No idea what that means, but it is indeed the case. That gospel follows the trajectory as if Judas had been right. Personally I think he understood what he had done just when it was too late.
Last year on Good Friday our bishop preached an amazing sermon on related lines of thinking. It was during that service where the loud thought ringing in my head was, "Judas was wrong and Judas was sorry". The bishop had a cute story about Judas approaching Jesus while he was hanging on the cross to ask for forgiveness. Jesus, ever compassionate, looks down at his friend and says, "Judas, Judas, you don't look so good. Tell me what's wrong." He's always calling us home. We've never gotten too far to reach.
Amen.
A corollary
A follow up perspective to my last post:
If we are to transform society, the vast majority of us will have to remain functioning in it, in the worlds of science, art, education, business, and everything else. Today I attended a meeting of the advisory board at the state government related to my field of secular work. It completely revitalized my outlook in that area of life, which had been getting pretty thin and under watered in the past few months. Despite his nearly abusive theology in many other areas, I can give Josemaria Escriva full credit for one insight: your primary mission field is wherever you happen to be right now.
And with that, to all a good night.
If we are to transform society, the vast majority of us will have to remain functioning in it, in the worlds of science, art, education, business, and everything else. Today I attended a meeting of the advisory board at the state government related to my field of secular work. It completely revitalized my outlook in that area of life, which had been getting pretty thin and under watered in the past few months. Despite his nearly abusive theology in many other areas, I can give Josemaria Escriva full credit for one insight: your primary mission field is wherever you happen to be right now.
And with that, to all a good night.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
To be or not to be... a cleric that is
I have just come up with the clearest statement of why I should not be pursuing ordination that I have managed to think to date.
Setting aside for a moment that due to the sometimes inconsistent way our government deals with clergy [think in particular of the fact that clergy are agents of the state when they officiate weddings], I have legally been a member of the clergy since December 2003. According to canon law of the church into which I have since been confirmed, that does not much matter anymore ;-)
The statement itself comes from a renewed understanding of the importance of the ministry of all Baptised Christians. Last year I attended a day long workshop sponsored by my diocese and keynoted by the presiding bishop. It really freed up my thinking in this area.
So without further ado:
If this shift is going to work, some of us who certainly would have sought ordination in decades past need to remain among the laity. That is a significant element in the strategy to balance out issues of clericalism.
I may or may not personally be among the "some of us", but it certainly bears deep consideration.
Deep peace of the morning to you.
Setting aside for a moment that due to the sometimes inconsistent way our government deals with clergy [think in particular of the fact that clergy are agents of the state when they officiate weddings], I have legally been a member of the clergy since December 2003. According to canon law of the church into which I have since been confirmed, that does not much matter anymore ;-)
The statement itself comes from a renewed understanding of the importance of the ministry of all Baptised Christians. Last year I attended a day long workshop sponsored by my diocese and keynoted by the presiding bishop. It really freed up my thinking in this area.
So without further ado:
If this shift is going to work, some of us who certainly would have sought ordination in decades past need to remain among the laity. That is a significant element in the strategy to balance out issues of clericalism.
I may or may not personally be among the "some of us", but it certainly bears deep consideration.
Deep peace of the morning to you.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Two dreams from the past to seed the possible
First a block of text that is important enough to me to have been repasted and emailed and scrapbooked in a number of electronic formats over the years. It contains a record of an experience that will never leave me and a good word as it were that continues to give me hope. Clearly I've changed idiom somewhat in the intervening years since letting go of primarily relating through the universe through magick and with additional distance from my education in physics. Still the heart of it weaves through everything of me.
"At 4:13 PM on Monday June 2, 2003, I awoke from a dream which showed me the extent of the possibilities of life. At 4:18 I rose and began writing this journal, or at least this entry which may become a journal should that be necessary. The world I dreamed of was our own but it was realized in a very different way than usual. It was in fact the world where I was completely awake. I traveled on the threads of the life I lead in the dream which is in its details in all likelihood different from the one I am actually to lead. But it wasn’t the details which were prophetic, it was the process. Though I felt perfectly at center I knew that events, people, places, etc. were all in a constant swirl around me. The path of my life navigated space-time but was like a vibrating oscillator with nodes certainly of great importance, though each not weighted alike. I cannot even guarantee that either endpoint was fixed nor the line integral of my life constant, in fact I think those like basically all else in the universe could be changed if the proper energy were imparted over the right time. I was not a messiah in this life for lining up every tumbler to unlock every lock. I was still just me, one among many others, all creating our lives around us to a greater or lesser degree, though I did surprise more than a few people whose lives I crossed. The way the voice of the master within put it as I was preparing to rise from bed, something that resembled, 'This will not be the most important (meaning noticed) life on the planet, but it will be the life that will make you happy.' I’m not sure there is a practical lesson to take away here as this was really a demonstration of principles that I already theorized, but I expect the emotional impact will be very strong and this energy is essentially what drives the magickal techniques or forces involved. I may or may not at some point describe the manifestations and realizations of destiny which are possible and which I lived in my dream. They are difficult to verbalize and really do seem to function in a vector space of many dimensions: a vast system of equations which have their solution only in the sum total of the possibilities of existence."
A slice from another dream has eerie resonances with New Monasticism, which was in another world from the one I was in; despite the heavy Christian imagery of the gnosticism I called home at the time. This paragraph follows one in which I discuss religion as my calling and consider whether making a living should be at all related:
"There were several people that I was interacting with on many levels. The living situation seemed different. More involved. Paths to employment were not left out of the dream. Securing a source of income seemed to be high on the list of priorities. It also seemed to be parsed out and not only on me. I seemed to be connected in to a network of individuals that was getting things done."
Quite surprising to say the least when I found that tidbit while I looked for the other which was my intended post.
It is good to dream dreams.
Many blessings on this night.
"At 4:13 PM on Monday June 2, 2003, I awoke from a dream which showed me the extent of the possibilities of life. At 4:18 I rose and began writing this journal, or at least this entry which may become a journal should that be necessary. The world I dreamed of was our own but it was realized in a very different way than usual. It was in fact the world where I was completely awake. I traveled on the threads of the life I lead in the dream which is in its details in all likelihood different from the one I am actually to lead. But it wasn’t the details which were prophetic, it was the process. Though I felt perfectly at center I knew that events, people, places, etc. were all in a constant swirl around me. The path of my life navigated space-time but was like a vibrating oscillator with nodes certainly of great importance, though each not weighted alike. I cannot even guarantee that either endpoint was fixed nor the line integral of my life constant, in fact I think those like basically all else in the universe could be changed if the proper energy were imparted over the right time. I was not a messiah in this life for lining up every tumbler to unlock every lock. I was still just me, one among many others, all creating our lives around us to a greater or lesser degree, though I did surprise more than a few people whose lives I crossed. The way the voice of the master within put it as I was preparing to rise from bed, something that resembled, 'This will not be the most important (meaning noticed) life on the planet, but it will be the life that will make you happy.' I’m not sure there is a practical lesson to take away here as this was really a demonstration of principles that I already theorized, but I expect the emotional impact will be very strong and this energy is essentially what drives the magickal techniques or forces involved. I may or may not at some point describe the manifestations and realizations of destiny which are possible and which I lived in my dream. They are difficult to verbalize and really do seem to function in a vector space of many dimensions: a vast system of equations which have their solution only in the sum total of the possibilities of existence."
A slice from another dream has eerie resonances with New Monasticism, which was in another world from the one I was in; despite the heavy Christian imagery of the gnosticism I called home at the time. This paragraph follows one in which I discuss religion as my calling and consider whether making a living should be at all related:
"There were several people that I was interacting with on many levels. The living situation seemed different. More involved. Paths to employment were not left out of the dream. Securing a source of income seemed to be high on the list of priorities. It also seemed to be parsed out and not only on me. I seemed to be connected in to a network of individuals that was getting things done."
Quite surprising to say the least when I found that tidbit while I looked for the other which was my intended post.
It is good to dream dreams.
Many blessings on this night.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Tentmaking and the modern interpretation of career and work
The primary tension in my adult life has been the struggle between my passion for philosophy and religion and the practicalities of making one's way in the world. Setting aside some huge pieces of the puzzle for a moment, I've been struck by a series of "What if...?" questions that may become important to where I go from here.
What if career and work did not define us? What if the place of work within the Rule of St. Benedict were allowed to soften the monument that it has become in the dominant culture? What if people did any number of things as their work without worrying about whether it constituted a career that they would wish on themselves? What if that work paid well enough and created an economy full of enough goods and services that we could actually have enough to qualify as our "daily bread"? What if this economy left us with enough time, energy, and spirit to pursue our other interests without worrying about which was hobby and which was legitimate work? What if this freedom to explore actually increased the number of activities that could become our work and contribute to this economy of sufficiency and deep fulfillment?
I think this might be the kind of economy that Shane Claiborne has in mind when calling up the aphorism, "In the Kingdom of God, capitalism will not be possible and communism will not be necessary". A different set of choices is possible and may be just around the bend for increasing numbers of people. I'm very much looking forward to reading Jim Wallis' "Rediscovering Values" to see if any of this finds resonance there.
It is good to keep in mind that tentmaking as a way to describe Christians (usually applied to leaders; but should really be applied to most everybody) who self fund their religious callings comes from Paul's trade making tents. It is important to realize that Paul simply made some tents, sold them and kept his focus on his mission. He was wasn't climbing the corporate ladder of the Mediterranean Division of a multinational corporation called Tents R Us. He did his work and it helped keep his calling engaged.
I'm sure I'm going to be back to this a number of times before I strike anything remotely looking like balance.
What if career and work did not define us? What if the place of work within the Rule of St. Benedict were allowed to soften the monument that it has become in the dominant culture? What if people did any number of things as their work without worrying about whether it constituted a career that they would wish on themselves? What if that work paid well enough and created an economy full of enough goods and services that we could actually have enough to qualify as our "daily bread"? What if this economy left us with enough time, energy, and spirit to pursue our other interests without worrying about which was hobby and which was legitimate work? What if this freedom to explore actually increased the number of activities that could become our work and contribute to this economy of sufficiency and deep fulfillment?
I think this might be the kind of economy that Shane Claiborne has in mind when calling up the aphorism, "In the Kingdom of God, capitalism will not be possible and communism will not be necessary". A different set of choices is possible and may be just around the bend for increasing numbers of people. I'm very much looking forward to reading Jim Wallis' "Rediscovering Values" to see if any of this finds resonance there.
It is good to keep in mind that tentmaking as a way to describe Christians (usually applied to leaders; but should really be applied to most everybody) who self fund their religious callings comes from Paul's trade making tents. It is important to realize that Paul simply made some tents, sold them and kept his focus on his mission. He was wasn't climbing the corporate ladder of the Mediterranean Division of a multinational corporation called Tents R Us. He did his work and it helped keep his calling engaged.
I'm sure I'm going to be back to this a number of times before I strike anything remotely looking like balance.
Community within the Nicene Creed
This blog is born out of an impression I received while reciting the Nicene Creed at this morning's Eucharist on the Fourth Sunday of Lent 2010. How this impression and blogging are related remains to be seen, but for someone who gave up contributing to the web when we stopped writing HTML by hand somehow they do.
After a suitably heart softening sermon on the plight of the older brother in the parable of the prodigal son (and not just warming but actually gently massaging old resistances), we recited the Nicene Creed as is customary. Though it is far less of a stumbling block for me than for many called to Jesus but less sure about institutional Christianity, I still have viewed it as the result of an interesting theological struggle in the early church resulting in poetic propositions concerning the nature of the Trinity. I viewed it as primarily propositional rather than relational and more about Jesus than of Jesus.
Today something shifted just enough to let me see another aspect. In addition to the Christian community that produced the creed and the community over time that has recited the creed, there is a biblical community within the creed itself. The two lines:
"By the power of the Holy Spirit
He became incarnate from the Virgin Mary"
reminded me of the actual interactive seen of the Annunciation and Mary's participation in Jesus ministry from conception to cross and beyond.
All of the people and confusion of the night he was arrested is captured by the line about being crucified by Pilate. The contention with authorities and all the activities of holy week are hung from that cross.
The burial recalls Joseph of Arimathea and Nicodemos, Jesus two followers among the Pharisees themselves.
The resurrection on the third day brings to mind all the activity in the garden, Mary Magdalen and even the footrace between Peter and the Beloved Disciple.
The Ascencion which Luke loved so well he used it to finish his Gospel and to start Acts even though 40 days separated the two versions of the event ties together dozens and perhaps hundreds of disciples and future followers of The Way.
Add to this the "creator of heaven and earth" recalling the Genesis stories leading into the blessing of Abraham and his family to bless the nations and the Holy Spirit "the Lord, the giver of life" whose inspirations shown through the prophets and connected the voice of God to communities over thousands of years now, and we really begin to have something.
Far from being just a cold list of theological propositions, the Nicene Creed is a litany of places where God and humanity have encountered one another, especially in Jesus which this council declared was fully human and fully divine. Remembering that during this same council St. Athanasius wrote that he became like us so that we might become like him and we have quite a cloud of witnesses indeed.
Blessings on this day set aside for a lightening of the Lenten journey.
After a suitably heart softening sermon on the plight of the older brother in the parable of the prodigal son (and not just warming but actually gently massaging old resistances), we recited the Nicene Creed as is customary. Though it is far less of a stumbling block for me than for many called to Jesus but less sure about institutional Christianity, I still have viewed it as the result of an interesting theological struggle in the early church resulting in poetic propositions concerning the nature of the Trinity. I viewed it as primarily propositional rather than relational and more about Jesus than of Jesus.
Today something shifted just enough to let me see another aspect. In addition to the Christian community that produced the creed and the community over time that has recited the creed, there is a biblical community within the creed itself. The two lines:
"By the power of the Holy Spirit
He became incarnate from the Virgin Mary"
reminded me of the actual interactive seen of the Annunciation and Mary's participation in Jesus ministry from conception to cross and beyond.
All of the people and confusion of the night he was arrested is captured by the line about being crucified by Pilate. The contention with authorities and all the activities of holy week are hung from that cross.
The burial recalls Joseph of Arimathea and Nicodemos, Jesus two followers among the Pharisees themselves.
The resurrection on the third day brings to mind all the activity in the garden, Mary Magdalen and even the footrace between Peter and the Beloved Disciple.
The Ascencion which Luke loved so well he used it to finish his Gospel and to start Acts even though 40 days separated the two versions of the event ties together dozens and perhaps hundreds of disciples and future followers of The Way.
Add to this the "creator of heaven and earth" recalling the Genesis stories leading into the blessing of Abraham and his family to bless the nations and the Holy Spirit "the Lord, the giver of life" whose inspirations shown through the prophets and connected the voice of God to communities over thousands of years now, and we really begin to have something.
Far from being just a cold list of theological propositions, the Nicene Creed is a litany of places where God and humanity have encountered one another, especially in Jesus which this council declared was fully human and fully divine. Remembering that during this same council St. Athanasius wrote that he became like us so that we might become like him and we have quite a cloud of witnesses indeed.
Blessings on this day set aside for a lightening of the Lenten journey.
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